A couple weeks ago, I shared about how I tried to teach kids to communicate effectively. We talked about the importance of body language, eye contact, and showing understanding. I didn’t want to leave it at that. In this post, I’ll share how I brought their conversational skills to the next level.
Once my students seemed to understand how to listen well, we moved onto the next step: learn how to have a discussion. It’s basically expanding on the “showing understanding” step from before, and then adding a fourth step: Add your own thought. This can also be thought of as a lesson on “How to Agree and Disagree Politely.”
I think this is an essential life skill that every person should work on! Myself included :P. I eventually found a way to do it that was really fun for everyone. Here’s how it went:
Me: So you know how we’ve been working on improving our communication skills?
(Suddenly they all straighten up give me penetrating eye contact :))
Me: Ah yes, I see you remember! Well, today we’re going to take it a step further. It’s good and all to learn to listen well, but you also need to learn how to share your own thoughts well. Now, this doesn’t mean just blabbing on and on and always talking. It also doesn’t mean sitting there just waiting for your chance to say what you want to say and only concentrating on your own thought. I’m going to teach you a polite and courteous way to do it. It’s two steps. First, you SHOW that you were listening, and then you ADD your own thoughts. Again, SHOW your listening, then ADD your own thoughts.
I think my friend Rachel needs to start a blog. Until that happens, I get to pick her brain and ask her to write guest posts for us here! I say that like I’m going to keep asking. Because I probably will :D. (Rachel, you’ve been warned ;)). A couple months ago, she shared her awesome tips on How Teaching Has Influenced My Parenting. Today, I am sharing her equally thoughtful and practical ideas on How Parenting Will Affect My Teaching. It’s everything I had hoped it would be, and more! I am super excited for you to read it. Teachers, I’d love to hear how parenting has affected you as an educator as well! Please feel free to share in the comments below.
How Parenting Will Affect My Teaching
A guest post by Rachel K.
Being a stay-at-home mom is a gift in many ways: It has allowed me to watch my kids grow up, shape the way they see and interact with the world, take an active role in their education and in helping them develop life skills. All of which, I would consider, standard fare (things you could reasonably expect to experience when you are at home with your children). As an educator on hiatus, however, I have been gifted in unexpected ways too. I have gotten to experience life from the outside of the classroom looking in. I have helped with homework I haven’t assigned, quizzed for tests I wasn’t giving, and attended parent conferences and IEP’s where I got to listen instead of lead. It has been, and continues to be, quite the learning experience. What follows are my top 3 take-aways that I will be implementing when I return to education.
Take Away #1: Less homework. More meaningful homework.
It wasn’t until my son became a kindergartner that my view on homework changed. And I am so glad it did! I used to see real value in homework. I still do, to a degree. But nowhere near what I did before I had school-aged kids.
It started as a lesson to prepare my students for book club discussions. In my early years of teaching, I noticed that kids always seemed so preoccupied with saying what they wanted to say during a discussion that they hardly seemed to pay attention to what others were saying. If I’m honest with myself, I know some adults who are like this. (If I’m really honest with myself, sometimes I’m like this! Hah.)
So I prepared a lesson to teach my fourth graders to be better at these discussions. While my original purpose was to improve book club conversations, our class conversation soon morphed to focusing on the importance of showing courtesy and respect when conversing with anyone, anywhere! In the years following, I made sure to teach conversational skills early on so we could practice all year long. The kids always loved this lesson, because it was real and it was a social skill they could tell was applicable to all of life.
I usually started it off like this:
“Today, we’re going to talk about how to communicate effectively. Usually, we think of communicating as talking, but there are lots of ways to communicate with others. For example, you are always communicating with your body. Think about what your mom looks like when she’s talking with another mom. When she’s listening, she’s usually nodding her head, looking the person in the eye, and says, ‘Uh huh… yeah! Oh, totally…’ and other things to show she is listening, right?”
I can see, as I’m imitating mothers, that my students are envisioning their own moms showing these excellent listening skills.
“It’s not just what she’s saying, but it’s the way she is furrowing her brow, looking intently, nodding, and holding her arms still that shows she is interested and engaged. What if, instead of all those things, she did this?”
I repeat the same words- “Uh huh… yeah… Oh, totally…” but this time while rolling my eyes, sighing in the middle, tilting my head away from the speaker, and using bored inflections in my voice.
The kids laugh.
“It’s funny, right? I mean, I said the same things, but it was clear from my body language and my tone of voice that I was not really listening well. Body language sometimes communicates a lot more than your words, so when we are in conversations, we should be sure to use good body language that says, ‘I’m listening!’ to show respect to the other person. That means you’re sitting up, making eye contact, your mouth is closed and not talking over them, and your hands are still.”
Even as I’m saying it, I see all their backs straighten, their eyes fixed on me, mouths shut, with perfect little snowball hands. How darling.
I introduced playdough to my girl a few months ago, but it wasn’t until she turned two that she really, really got into it.
Playdough is fantastic for imaginative play, fine motor skills and well, keeping your kid occupied while you cook dinner. Look, she might even make you a wrap with arugula and cheese while you’re at it!
Looks tasty, right? 🙂
One annoying thing about playdough is its tendency to dry out quickly. We have a lot of little tubs of Play-doh, and even if we remember to put it back into the tub each time, it still starts getting dry in a matter of days, and that’s not as fun to play with. Of course, half the time we forget and leave it out and come back to an icky, crusty chunk of dough that is not pliable at all. No fun. Also, the tubs of Play-doh are so unsatisfyingly small. You can barely shape a strawberry out of one before you run out!
I’m so over that. Now I can use a few simple pantry ingredients to make a HUGE ball of playdough that she can make a grand feast with! Now she has huge hunks of “bread” that she can really cut through with a plastic knife, and lots of pasta “dough” to extrude noodles with. It is so satisfying to have a huge hunk of dough :). I also like that we can make it whatever color we want (although our purple one pictured above came out kind of muddy looking).
She helped me make it last time, and she learned so many fun things through the process! Some examples:
- scooping and leveling flour
- stirring
- pouring water carefully
- red and blue mix together to make… PURPLE!!! PUR-PO MAMA, PUR-PO!!!
- heat causes chemical reactions (okay she might not totally grasp this concept yet, but it was a great introduction to it!)
- how to knead dough
It was a great morning activity and we still have a moist blob of playdough to show for it. I also feel like mom of the year, so that counts for something, too. If it’s your first time, I’d suggest starting the the quarter recipe and making more in the future if you like. Enjoy!!
She loves me.
Just wanted to share.
My heart is fit to burst :).
We’ve come a long way. A few weeks ago, I shared how she was breaking my heart, but these days she is always asking for me to put her down at night. I have, and it’s been so sweet! But we’ve also since decided that, for consistency’s sake, it’s best if we keep that going-to-bed routine as her special time with Papa. On the whole, we have been working hard to make things more consistent for her, and it has definitely paid off.
Last week was awesome. It was a huge turning point for so many reasons, not the least of which was Baby Boy’s sudden ability to sleep through the night (STTN). He went ahead and did that all on his own. WOOHOO!!! Yes! I know! We win!!! Let’s hope it continues! Last week was also awesome because my little girl was so, so sunny and warm and fun and pleasant. I think it had a lot to do with all the moves we have made toward making her day-to-day life more consistent. And her not being sick. I’m so sorry to all the families with kids who get sick all the time. Big. Hug.
At this point, keeping things consistent basically means declining most of the help available to us, and me choosing to just be “on” all the time. Happily, the timing of this happened to coincide with Baby Bear’s STTN happiness… whew! Thank you, Lord!
Last week was seriously one of the best weeks I can remember having in a very, very long time.
I also learned the secret to SAHM happiness. No really, I discovered the key to going through a day nearly frustration-free and as relaxed as can be. It’s a good one.
I love me some good ribs. This recipe from my dad was my go-to favorite for a long time, but it takes about 3 hours to get that fall-off-the-bone goodness going in the oven. With my new Instant Pot
- Rub ribs, then place them in the Instant Pot with chicken stock and ketchup.
- Set on high pressure for 15 minutes.
- Cover with bbq sauce, and broil for 2-4 minutes.
YUM.
I can’t say I’ve liked everything I’ve tried in my Instant Pot so far. I’ve had some hits, like the ribs and this Beef Bourguignon I’ve done twice so far, and some misses, including a really disappointing kale and carrots recipe. These ribs are definitely a hit, though! We had friends over recently and it was a snap to throw these ribs together for dinner.
This recipe is pretty straightforward and simple, especially if you have some Butt Rub
My husband and I personally liked the ribs better when I made them with the rub recipe below, but we also enjoyed it with the Butt Rub
So if you are also figuring out ways to make the most of your Black Friday Instant Pot splurge, try this recipe out. It’s a keeper!
When she was just a baby, this was a colorful caterpillar toy that she batted at and pushed around. I rattled it for her, spun the spinny thing around, and made funny faces with it by my face.
For the most part, the toy sat in the basket, something that she rarely reached for.
A few months later, she rediscovered this colorful little guy and to her delight, it rattled and shook and spun! I couldn’t wait for her to discover the fun of pulling it apart and putting it back together in whatever configuration she pleased. Unfortunately, her little hands were not yet strong enough to pull the pieces apart. So, in an effort to show her one way to play with it, I tried setting it up to make it easy for her to pull apart. Sometimes this worked, and she experienced the joy of taking the bug apart… but unless I was right there with her playing with it, her interaction with it was still limited to spinning a bit and rattling a bit. This only kept her interest for so long, but it was a step forward!
Again, the toy found its way to the bottom of the toy bin, smiling but unloved.
One day, as I was rotating toys out, I left it on the floor. When I came back to it, the head was gone.
Wait, the head was gone.
HOORAY! THE HEAD WAS GONE!
I turned and found my daughter, who was turning a yellow and green smiling head about in her hands, “You did it! You took apart the caterpillar!” She smiled and then proceeded to dismantle the whole thing, one segment at a time.
It’s the little things, guys.
As I’ve observed her growing ability to interact with this toy, I couldn’t help but reflect on how
babies : caterpillar toys :: I : Bible
For you younguns, that’s old school SAT speak for babies interact with caterpillar toys like how I interact with the Bible.
I never thought I’d write about vegetables.
I never imagined I’d buy a cookbook focused completely on vegetables
I never thought I’d buy my best friend a cookbook about vegetables as part of her birthday gift.
But look! Here I am, writing about vegetables because I got this cookbook on vegetables which I liked enough to buy for my BFF for her birthday! To be fair, I also gifted her some of my favorite chocolate products, but… vegetables. I’m sure she didn’t see that coming.
Because I like pastries. And chocolate. And coffee. And milk tea. And bacon. And fried stuff. And usually, vegetables don’t fall under any of those categories (except veggie tempura and onion rings, I guess, but does that really count??).
If you really think about it, though, it totally makes sense that I should get a cookbook on vegetables. Veggies are my relative cooking weakness, so why shouldn’t I turn to an expert who LOVES them and get advice on how she prepares them? I mean, if I wanted to make more delightful desserts, I’d look to the greats like David or Thomas or Dorie
I used to always wonder which was the hardest transition for young parents: going from 0 children to 1? From 1-2? From 2-3? I think every parent in each situation will have a different answer, and I find them all fascinating. I used to ask more experienced parents for their take all the time, because I like to know what to expect. I’d be really interested in hearing what your thoughts are! Here are a few thoughts I have now that we’re a few months into our transition into a family of two kids.
1) Preparing for labor is different. On the upside, you don’t have to go to classes to learn how to give birth and how to breastfeed and all that, but the actual going to the hospital part is more complicated. When we had our first child, I just woke Ben up one morning and said, “I think I’m going into labor.” We packed up, then headed out. Simple, right?
This time, the process was a lot more stressful, for many reasons. First of all, we had decided to potty train our daughter, which meant that this 8-month pregnant lady was frequently trying to run around to get this toddler from point A to point B really, really fast. Then this 8-month pregnant lady was stooping, crouching, hoisting, lifting, holding, carrying, bending, etc. etc. to achieve potty training goals which, let me tell you, is NO FUN. None. My body said so too, with false contractions eventually driving me to bed rest.
As if that all was not stressful enough, these false contractions also led me to think I was about to have a baby. All the time. Apparently the more babies you have, the more likely this is to happen. So that was a lot of false contracting. This meant that instead of storing up much needed Zzz’s at 2… 3… 4… 5am, I was busy timing the minutes between contractions, trying to determine whether or not it was time to head to the hospital. And several times, it was… except it wasn’t. As in, the contractions were regularly under 5 minutes apart, hurt, and all that jazz… but we didn’t go to the hospital yet because of…
Stressor #3: Finding childcare. We have a ton of friends and family around who all were willing to help at this time, but we really didn’t want to call them up to come over at 3am only to send them home at 8am with false labor reports. If we really did call for help each time we were 95% sure I was going into labor, that would have been like 5 false alarms. So instead, I lay in bed stressed all the time about whether or not to make the calls and head to the delivery room and all that. GUYS IT WAS SO STRESSFUL. Especially because all of these false labor incidents decided to happen during normal sleeping hours (i.e. 11pm-6am!).
All this to say, you can’t just tap your hubby at 4am and say, “It’s time!” and then calmly head out the door. You have to prep your toddler, prep the people who will care for her, and then be reallyreallyreally sure you’re going to have a baby before troubling all the people to come help. GLAD THAT IS DONE.
Black Friday got us. Black Friday got us good. Here is one example:
You know Black Friday got you good when you spend nearly $100 on something you didn’t even know existed earlier that morning. That’s what happened to me when my friend Diana advertised the Instant Pot Electric Pressure Cooker
And then I had to do all this research to figure out how to use this thing without blowing the house up. It’s actually way easier and safer than I had imagined… whew! But we’re kinda superdupercautious about everything in our household (like we actually unplug the toaster oven when it’s not in use… and we use it like 5x/day), so I felt I had to study the manual and all that.
Then it was time for recipes. The Instant Pot came with a recipe booklet, but who ever uses recipes from the booklet that comes with the thing? Really?
Actually, I did. I tried the creme brulee recipe from it, only because I fell for Costco’s half gallon of heavy cream again and didn’t have time to make ice cream. (FYI I think it’s worthwhile to make it the traditional, non pressure cooker way in the future). I guess I also tried the “Jasmine Rice” recipe from it, only because we needed some white rice in a pinch and for some reason our rice cooker takes foreverrrrr to make rice so I thought I’d try this “4 minute white rice.” Let me tell you now, though. Four minute rice doesn’t mean four minute rice. It means 1) let the pressure cooker take 10 minutes to get up to pressure, and then 2) add an additional 4 minutes to cook the rice, and then 3) add an additional 2 minutes to depressurize the thing before you can safely access the rice. So really, that’s like 15 minute white rice. Just so you know. Cuz I didn’t.
Meet JoEllen
Subscribe via Email
Top Posts & Pages
Categories
