I think my friend Rachel needs to start a blog. Until that happens, I get to pick her brain and ask her to write guest posts for us here! I say that like I’m going to keep asking. Because I probably will :D. (Rachel, you’ve been warned ;)). A couple months ago, she shared her awesome tips on How Teaching Has Influenced My Parenting. Today, I am sharing her equally thoughtful and practical ideas on How Parenting Will Affect My Teaching. It’s everything I had hoped it would be, and more! I am super excited for you to read it. Teachers, I’d love to hear how parenting has affected you as an educator as well! Please feel free to share in the comments below.
How Parenting Will Affect My Teaching
A guest post by Rachel K.
Being a stay-at-home mom is a gift in many ways: It has allowed me to watch my kids grow up, shape the way they see and interact with the world, take an active role in their education and in helping them develop life skills. All of which, I would consider, standard fare (things you could reasonably expect to experience when you are at home with your children). As an educator on hiatus, however, I have been gifted in unexpected ways too. I have gotten to experience life from the outside of the classroom looking in. I have helped with homework I haven’t assigned, quizzed for tests I wasn’t giving, and attended parent conferences and IEP’s where I got to listen instead of lead. It has been, and continues to be, quite the learning experience. What follows are my top 3 take-aways that I will be implementing when I return to education.
Take Away #1: Less homework. More meaningful homework.
It wasn’t until my son became a kindergartner that my view on homework changed. And I am so glad it did! I used to see real value in homework. I still do, to a degree. But nowhere near what I did before I had school-aged kids. I think that teacher’s often lose sight of how much homework they should be handing out nightly. The recommendation is 10 minutes per grade level (10 minutes for 1st grade, 20 minutes for 2nd grade, 30 minutes for 3rd, etc.). Sometimes I think teachers are on auto pilot, assigning the same stuff we always have in the order we are used to assigning it in. Sometimes I think that we don’t actually think about how much time it will truly take to complete all of the assigned work. And sometimes we even make the mistake of giving extra homework to gifted kids in response to parent requests. Guilty on all counts–but never again.
As a parent of a child who enjoys extracurricular activities, I see how much of a stressor it can be to get everything done. The younger, childless me would have said, “Well, if it’s that much of a stressor, maybe he shouldn’t play _______.” But the older, wiser me says, “There is VALUE in play.” My child isn’t sitting, mindless, in front of a screen. He is interacting with others, learning the value of teamwork and fair play. He is learning how to be social and take turns all while breathing fresh air and exercising his body. How can that be a bad thing? Academics are important, but so are well-rounded kids. This is when I made the agreement to change the homework I assign. This is me, committing to all my future students, that I will make mindful choices when it comes to assigning homework. I will try and help foster a balance between schoolwork and play.
Take Away #2: Parent enrichment nights are a must.
I used to wake up each day at 5:45, was at school from 7:30-4:30, got to be a mom from 4:30-8:30, graded papers until 11 and then hurried to bed so I could get up and do it all over again the next day. Is it any surprise that I HATED to volunteer for after hours projects? No really. However, when I return to teaching I will happily volunteer to run a workshop (or several of them) on how to enrich your child’s education.
In speaking with parents, the enrichment piece seems to be overwhelming for them. They want to help their child grow as a learner, but they don’t know what to do. They don’t know what materials to use, where to find the materials, or what age appropriate goals would be. So, one of two things ends up happening: parents do nothing, or they go to the teacher with the expectation of the teacher doing/providing everything.
I want to break this cycle and empower parents. When a parent plays an active role in their child’s learning, this is when education truly becomes a partnership. It is a partnership between home and school and it is powerful.
Take Away #3: IEP attention to details BEFORE day 1.
As a parent of a special needs child, the thought of sending my son off to kindergarten next year terrifies me. There is a legal document that outlines what services my son will receive and what accommodations will be made in the classroom to ensure that his needs are being met. You would think that that document would give me peace of mind, but it doesn’t. I know all too well the reality of a classroom teacher. When we are called back to school after summer break, we get to sit in a bunch of meetings and trainings. We are then given ONE DAY to set up our classroom and (if we are lucky) we are given our class list 2-4 hours before we go home for the day. Between labeling, photocopying, and arranging our rooms there is little to no time to stop and look at cumulative folders and IEPs. Kudos to the amazing special education teachers who give us Cliff Notes on our incoming kids, but when it comes to MY child, I want more. And because of my child, I now want more for your kids too. More information before day one. Because the more I know, the better I can serve that child’s needs.
Bonus Take Away #4: Child centered projects/reports
This is something I knew going in to education, but if one educator reads this and it changes the way they approach projects and reports—my job here is done! If a parent is doing the majority of the work on a child’s project, there is zero educational value in it. Stop assigning that garbage. That California mission project in 4th grade—stop. That book report in the form of a diorama—stop. That painful (district assigned) science fair board—stop! Those star of the week posters that I have to print a million pictures for, buy a poster board, and spend countless hours decorating…for the love of God, please stop! These projects are stressful and consume large amounts of time and money—MY time and money. It’s time to put back on our thinking caps and figure out how to morph these projects in to things that are kid driven with parental support. I am all for taking an active role in my child’s education, but I draw the line at doing their work for them. <Deep breath.> Bonus take away rant is over.
Being a teacher is as much a part of my identity as being a mom, and I am continuously looking for ways to become better at both. Each of those roles has had a profound impact on the other, and when I finally find my way back in to the classroom, I can only imagine how much better I will be for having had this time with my own children.
12 responses to “How Parenting Will Affect My Teaching”
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I was a much better teacher after I became a Mom!! You know how complicated parents and childrens lives can be and that makes all the difference!
Rachelle, I’d love to hear some of the ways being a mom changed your teaching!
I am lucky that I was a parent for more than 20 years before I became a teacher. I had learned those lessons BEFORE I started but often had trouble convincing colleges and administrators of them. Being a mother was the hardest and most rewarding job I have ever had and teaching is second. Being a Grandma and a retired teacher are the biggest blessings.
I love that perspective!
Thank you so much for your posts. I am a mother of 2 girls and must say you really share from the heart. It’s such a pleasure and enriching experience reading your insights into motherhood and teaching.
Thank you for your tips and insights– they surely help me along the way. 🙂
I’m so glad you found this helpful!
Small things like how you deal with the anxieties of friendship, putting on a band-aid, helping families in crisis. I just retired from teaching and one parent said that the biggest loss for him as a parent was that I was a teacher who had a heart on her sleeve and she used it daily-a high compliment for sure!
Yes, I totally hear you on the friendship one (and other issues on navigating the social scene!). So glad you had that warmth and love for your children! Wish I could go back and revisit some of my earlier moments of teaching, but I definitely know better now!
Interesting and thoughtful! I think being a mom brings to a teacher more empathy and a new objectivity. And I have also found that my little boy connects more with a teacher who is a mom than who is not.Maybe because being a mommy puts one in a frame of reference children feel familiar with! Great post!?
Thanks, Swati! I think it’s true that mommy teachers have a different vibe about them! They know kids in a different way, for sure.