This is probably the most influential book that I have never read.
The text on each page measures about 4 x 5″ and there are 29 pages. 26.5 if you don’t count the title page and publishing information. That makes it what, 3 pages long in a Word document? And yet it continues to sit, patiently on my nightstand, laughing ironically at me as I continue to pass it up for lesser activities.
But maybe it’s more powerful unread. Ever since my friend Jason mentioned this pamphlet in college, the simple title has put its hands on its hips and given me the know-it-all look several times, especially lately.
Phones, perhaps are the most notorious. There’s nothing as jarringly urgent-feeling than incoming phone call, even from a unknown number with your phone on silent. In the back of your head, you know it’s probably some soliciting company or political phone call. Yet when the thought of What if it’s important? I’ll never know if I don’t answer! What if they don’t leave a voicemail? hits, suddenly your hand reaches out to answer.
It’s never that important. And if it were, they would most likely call again. But the urgency of the situation causes us to act irrationally and to do stupid things like take our eyes off the road while driving, just to meet that urgent situation.
Here are a few other situations where I’ve been asking myself Is this important or simply urgent? The answer has been the latter way more often than I care to admit.
- Someone texts me a question while I’m spending time with another friend.
Urgent: replying to the text.
Important: being mentally present with my friend. - I feel like bringing my daughter over to hang out with her cousin, uncle, and grandparents, but I also have random household chores I need to get done. My family will always be there, so… no hurry, right?
Urgent: household chores, normal life.
Important: family time. - Sunday morning– to bring my daughter to church or not?
Urgent: MORNING NAP!!!
Important: Get her in the habit of going to and prioritizing church on Sundays… even if it’s not convenient. Which it will never be. - There is an incoming call while I’m driving on the freeway. It just takes a swipe to answer, and a tap to make it go on speakerphone…
Urgent: MUST ANSWER PHONE…
Important: My life. My daughter’s life. Other people’s lives. LIFE!!!! Oh, and the law. - We have friends joining for dinner. I had plans to cook food. I am stressing out because the day didn’t turn out the way I’d expected and time is running short. I haven’t even gotten groceries yet and they’re arriving in two hours.
Urgent: MUST MAKE FOOD.
Important: That I enjoy spending quality time with friends while they’re here– even if it means ordering takeout instead. IT’S OKAY. I’m no fun when I’m frazzled. - My baby girl is awake. We’re in her play area.
Urgent: Multi-tasking and getting something– anything– done. Laundry. Checking email. Skimming a recipe. Putting away dishes. Quiet times. Cleaning.
Important: Seeing her. Seeing her and being with her– physically and mentally. Everyone says I’m gonna miss this time, and I don’t want to look back on it someday wishing I had studied my screen less and her more.
To be honest, it’s often not even urgent things that suck my time. It’s idle things that I ease into and get sucked into for hours– trying to clear my inbox, shopping online, naps, Facebook… this blog. So when it comes down to it, what are the important things then? For me, it comes down to one simple thing: relationships. With God. With family. With friends. I’ve always said those were my priorities, but I need to keep reminding myself to make decisions that reflect those priorities.
Eventually, I’m guessing this is the conclusion the pamphlet will point me to:
Life is happening.
Urgent: attend to my life.
Important: attend to Jesus.
…I’ll letcha know whenever I get around to reading it.
How about you? What’s something urgent, but not important that you find yourself getting caught up in?
12 responses to “Tyranny of the Urgent”
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this was so timely! though ironically, i took a peek at it while my boys refused to eat their dinners. so true, esp these modern times with our bondage to our smartphones, too easy to get sidetracked by the “urgent.” thanks for spelling out the difference between “urgent” and important.
LOL so funny (and honest) about how/when you read this 😉 But seriously… it’s so pervasive! I have to really be proactive about not letting myself turn to the smart phone whenever there’s a lull.
ALWAYS!…and I don’t have children!!! First, let’s admit that we live in a culture that overloads us. We live in a time where our choices are literally unlimited. The challenge is considerable. Not impossible, but considerable. What warning did we have? OK, that having been said, as an adult I am, in the end, responsible for my choices.
I’m leaping here, but since I am an absolute failure at sitting quietly with myself to reach a spiritual quiet, I purposely sought out a community of people who gather at least weekly to do that in an effort to be prepared to go out in the spirit and awareness of social justice. At a gathering to honor Mary Magdaline, a fellow seeker asked us “Are we willing to remain in our emptiness, for as long as necessary to understand what we are longing for, and to receive what’s on the other side of it?”
The essential question. Do we KNOW what we are seeking? Are we willing to open ourselves to receive an answer from deep within? Can we wait quietly enough and long enough for the answer to rise up? Are we brave enough to hear and respond to the welling up? Honestly, the scariest thing one can do. I’m still asking myself if I really want to hear the answer because then I would have to have an answer.
I’m scared.
Yes, choices can be sooo overwhelming. (Even Chipotle and it’s millions of options overwhelms me… haha. This is why I also like In-n-Out… where there are just a few simple good options :).)
Thanks for sharing about your experience! Sometimes it really does take others pushing us to go in the right direction.
It’s summer vacation and I’m striving to get back to some devotional time in the morning. Bible reading and journaling mostly. My kids are playing in their tents. I am doing much better with my quiet time and therefore I’m doing much better as a mom. It makes a difference. I don’t come too as quickly
We get there, we fail, and we try again… and it’s okay! Way to keep at it! Speaking of which, maybe I should advantage of the end of this nap time and do just that… :).
I would have to argue in favour of the nap, though. Maybe it`s because I’m an “older” Mom (had my boy at 45) but I must say, if he’s napping, I should too – I will be more present when he is awake if I am well rested… And I do so love those naps where we lie down together! And wake up together! Precious moments…
Haha good point!
Super timely reminder, thanks! I have an older iPad, which is much larger and less convenient than a smart phone… but I’ve learned with it that I’m not ready for a phone yet, for all the reasons you mentioned!
On a slight tangent, I found this piece of writing most intriguing. Its about phones too.
http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/rnr/4562386373.html
(It is an article, even though it’s on Craigslist.)
I read that, too! I even thought about sneaking a link into this post, but didn’t. Yeah I was one of the last of my friends to cave and get a smart phone. It’s definitely changed things!