When my daughter was just a newborn, she hated having her poopy diapers changed. I would catch a whiff of her diaper and gently place her on the changing table. When she realized what was coming, she would make a fuss and scream bloody murder. As I went through the routine process of changing her diaper, placing a fresh diaper underneath, wiping her clean, and removing the mess, she screamed and kicked the whole time like it was torture.
I don’t know, maybe she liked the comfort of the mess that she had been sitting in. Maybe she had just gotten used to it. Maybe the feel of the cold wet cloth was uncomfortable on her warm skin. Maybe she just didn’t like being naked and exposed, the way a baby inevitably is when undergoing a diaper change.
As much as I knew she hated it, I kept on doing it: “Sweetie, I know you don’t like this, but it’s good for you. If I just leave it, you’ll get a diaper rash and it will be messy and bad for you. I can’t just let you sit in your mess. I’m going to help you clean it up and then you will feel so much better! Trust me!”
And even though she kicked and screamed, I made her endure this torture because it was good for her. Over time, I think she began to realize it was a good process with good results. She began to trust me more. As I continued to change her diapers, she eventually protested less and less. This was great. Not only was she less miserable about the whole thing, but it made it easier and faster for both of us! Before, she would flail her legs and sometimes squish them into her poop, which made everything more difficult and unpleasant and messy. As time passed, she learned to trust me more and calm down and cooperate. This made the cleanup process much easier and much faster. It was more pleasant for both of us… especially her.
Soon we got to the point where she was calm and still during changes, and eventually she was even helpful, shifting and moving to help me through this routine process of cleaning out her stuff.
As I repeated to her my gentle words of assurance- this is good for you, trust me, it will be even more miserable if we leave it- I couldn’t help but reflect on how babyish we can be with God sometimes.
Like a baby, we all find ourselves stewing in our mess at some point. We have some sinful attitude or behavior and it’s time to get rid of it. If we keep it around, it just makes things worse. Sin rash, if you will. But the cleaning process is no fun and sometimes is straight up miserable. As younger Christians, the process of exposing yourself and wiping up your “mess” is extremely foreign and contrary to our nature, which just wants to stay in the warmth and comfort of what we know. But then we’d be like a baby sitting in his own mess.
The Lord is gracious enough to help us clean up our messes, and we have a choice to make each time. We can fight it and make it a miserable and painful ordeal, kicking and screaming the whole time. WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO MEEEEEEE I HATE THIS.
Or we can calmly undergo the cleaning process and reset until the next round.
It doesn’t have to be torturous.
Of course the second route sounds easier. But like babies, sometimes it takes a few rounds of cleaning to realize this and really learn to trust the process and be confident of the outcome. Mature, seasoned Christians recognize sin in themselves more quickly and also are ready to face it and try to work it out more eagerly. They’ve done it before and they know from experience that as painful and uncomfortable as the process can be, it’s totally worth it and good. This cleaning process (aka sanctification) becomes less torturous and more refreshing as experience teaches you that God really does do this for your own good, and that he’s not just trying to force misery and discomfort on you.
As you learn to fight less and instead submit to Him and his will, it becomes easier each time. The very concept of submission is counter cultural and distasteful to many, but is key to joy in God’s kingdom. After all, the Bible reminds us not to “conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will” (Romans 12:2). King David reminds us that it is a delight to do God’s will, and your own life testimony should reveal that the times we consciously chose God’s way over ours always resulted in more joy.
He never promises that it’s easy, but he promises that it’s good. Of course, then there’s potty training. That’s a whole nother mess.
8 responses to “The Messy Things in Life”
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I had the same thought the other day while cleaning my daughter’s diaper!! You put it so eloquently. And reading this made me think of the emotional gunk we carry with us too—not just sinful actions but ways we hold onto bitterness, anger, belittling thoughts, etc. that’s the hard stud for me to let God clean up.
Yessss for sure!! Those things are so hard to work through… but very freeing if we allow ourselves to try to do it =P. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
God, as parent, must smile in patience at our continual insistence on the familiar, regardless of it’s value. We are creatures of habit, are we not? Trust building is such an essential part of parenting. Thank goodness that God is all about Trust with a capital “T” and the Grace to be open to it.
Truth!
Great metaphor — thanks for writing this! echo Heather, so well written.
Thanks, Daniel! 🙂
My first son (now 3yo) *hated* having his diaper changed — it was an ongoing battle right up until the point when he learned to use the toilet.
My second (now 7 mo) is incredibly patient, happy, and engaged throughout the process.
The mystery of babies!
Yes, I hear kids can be so different!! Really curious to see how the next one is…!!