“How did you know that he was The One?”
I was 20 when I got engaged, and got this question from my college peers on a regular basis. Few people my age had marriage on the mind, and yet here I was, finishing up my senior year with a ring on it, a thesis to write, and a wedding to plan by the end of the school year.
I was never planning or hoping to be one of those ultra conservative, marry-young types. But when the right guy came along and asked the right question at the right time, it just made complete sense. It was one of the best decisions of my life.
When he first asked me to date him, I didn’t see it coming. Friends who knew us well didn’t see it coming. I don’t think he even saw it coming until it was there. Sometimes, that’s just how it is when you walk by faith. But when it was here, it was right, and we were both certain of it.
I’m not sure how he knew I was the one. He’s a man of faith and prayer, and I know the Lord just revealed it to him and made it clear in a way that only Ben could really understand. My journey was a little more complicated, but it came down to one thing in the end: respect.
Our friendship had started long before our romance ever did. He was my brother’s friend from camp; a senior I had often heard other girls giggling about in the cabins, memorably referred to as “eye candy.” So when my older brother introduced me to his cabin mate- this cute, older guy who exuded kpop coolness, it was all I could do to act like I had never heard of him before. That was when I was 13.
There’s a reason these pumpkin pancakes have 2k fans on allrecipes.com. A very good reason. Even though I just posted a recipe for whole wheat blueberry pancakes, these are actually my favorite type of pancakes to make! And really, when the leaves start turning color and there’s a chill in the air, nothing beats starting your morning with pumpkin pancakes and a foamy mug of hot cocoa (my favorite recipes here and here (salted caramel))! Not that we’re getting much of a chill in California these days, but you know. Back in the day when there were cool October mornings… *nostalgic sigh*
Don’t fret if you don’t have all the spices on hand. I rarely have allspice around, and just up my cinnamon a little and call it a day.
Two things I always crave these days: pizza and pancakes.
I am annoyed that DoorDash doesn’t deliver the pizza I like, but the pancakes? Those I can take care of myself! Last week I was all about pumpkin pancakes, and this week, I’ve moved onto blueberry pancakes. This is mostly because we ran out of canned pumpkin and I had frozen blueberries in the freezer already.
Because I like to put all my frequently-used recipes on my blog for easy access, I am now adding this one! I’ve got it memorized for the moment because I made it three days in a row, but in case I ever get past this obsession and forget the proportions, I can now find it here. They feel healthyish (whole wheat!), take 5 minutes to mix together, and taste great! Enjoy!
Encourage open-ended play and fun with these simple craft sticks and some velcro! I made these for one of my daughter’s busy boxes and I’m pretty sure that as she gets older, she’ll enjoy creating all sorts of fun shapes from it. In addition to simply playing with it, I already have some geometry lessons planned, from teaching basic shapes to regular shapes to congruent shapes to understanding the nuances between the different types of quadrilaterals… all using these sticks! Okay, that may be a few years out, but exploring through play at this early age can only help!
They are great for exploring polygons, enjoying color, and working on fine motor skills with the sticking and un-sticking. Even my husband got into it for a little while, and I’m sure visiting friends will get a kick out of building shapes with these fun little sticks (kind of how they love to find new ways to play with this
When my daughter was just a newborn, she hated having her poopy diapers changed. I would catch a whiff of her diaper and gently place her on the changing table. When she realized what was coming, she would make a fuss and scream bloody murder. As I went through the routine process of changing her diaper, placing a fresh diaper underneath, wiping her clean, and removing the mess, she screamed and kicked the whole time like it was torture.
I don’t know, maybe she liked the comfort of the mess that she had been sitting in. Maybe she had just gotten used to it. Maybe the feel of the cold wet cloth was uncomfortable on her warm skin. Maybe she just didn’t like being naked and exposed, the way a baby inevitably is when undergoing a diaper change.
As much as I knew she hated it, I kept on doing it: “Sweetie, I know you don’t like this, but it’s good for you. If I just leave it, you’ll get a diaper rash and it will be messy and bad for you. I can’t just let you sit in your mess. I’m going to help you clean it up and then you will feel so much better! Trust me!”
And even though she kicked and screamed, I made her endure this torture because it was good for her. Over time, I think she began to realize it was a good process with good results. She began to trust me more. As I continued to change her diapers, she eventually protested less and less. This was great. Not only was she less miserable about the whole thing, but it made it easier and faster for both of us! Before, she would flail her legs and sometimes squish them into her poop, which made everything more difficult and unpleasant and messy. As time passed, she learned to trust me more and calm down and cooperate. This made the cleanup process much easier and much faster. It was more pleasant for both of us… especially her.
Soon we got to the point where she was calm and still during changes, and eventually she was even helpful, shifting and moving to help me through this routine process of cleaning out her stuff.
As I repeated to her my gentle words of assurance- this is good for you, trust me, it will be even more miserable if we leave it- I couldn’t help but reflect on how babyish we can be with God sometimes.
Like a baby, we all find ourselves stewing in our mess at some point. We have some sinful attitude or behavior and it’s time to get rid of it. If we keep it around, it just makes things worse. Sin rash, if you will. But the cleaning process is no fun and sometimes is straight up miserable. As younger Christians, the process of exposing yourself and wiping up your “mess” is extremely foreign and contrary to our nature, which just wants to stay in the warmth and comfort of what we know. But then we’d be like a baby sitting in his own mess.
The Lord is gracious enough to help us clean up our messes, and we have a choice to make each time. We can fight it and make it a miserable and painful ordeal, kicking and screaming the whole time. WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO MEEEEEEE I HATE THIS.
Or we can calmly undergo the cleaning process and reset until the next round.
It doesn’t have to be torturous.
Of course the second route sounds easier. But like babies, sometimes it takes a few rounds of cleaning to realize this and really learn to trust the process and be confident of the outcome. Mature, seasoned Christians recognize sin in themselves more quickly and also are ready to face it and try to work it out more eagerly. They’ve done it before and they know from experience that as painful and uncomfortable as the process can be, it’s totally worth it and good. This cleaning process (aka sanctification) becomes less torturous and more refreshing as experience teaches you that God really does do this for your own good, and that he’s not just trying to force misery and discomfort on you.
As you learn to fight less and instead submit to Him and his will, it becomes easier each time. The very concept of submission is counter cultural and distasteful to many, but is key to joy in God’s kingdom. After all, the Bible reminds us not to “conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will” (Romans 12:2). King David reminds us that it is a delight to do God’s will, and your own life testimony should reveal that the times we consciously chose God’s way over ours always resulted in more joy.
He never promises that it’s easy, but he promises that it’s good. Of course, then there’s potty training. That’s a whole nother mess.
A while back, I made five busy boxes for my toddler. One for each weekday:
The boxes are basically clear plastic shoe boxes that have a special set of activities and toys to keep her occupied while she quietly sits on a blanket (aka Blanket Time. If you’ve never tried it, you must. It’s awesome). This allows me to go and DO THINGS. Like lie on the couch and try really hard not to close my eyes. Or cook dinner. Or write something up to share with you here on my blog, like how to keep a toddler busy so I can go write about how I kept her busy. As a bonus, many of the activities help her get some fine motor skill practice, or are otherwise helpful for some aspect of her development. Yay!
So far, she only really seems to love the Monday and Tuesday boxes, so I find myself going back to those even on W, Th, and F. Lately, I’ve only been using them 1-2x a week, so that works out for now, but once baby boy comes, I think I’ll have to up my busy box game to buy some more downtime! For now, I’m glad I have at least two winners. I already shared the Tuesday box with you. It’s a simple upcycled oatmeal container that I punched holes into. She can sit there for nearly thirty minutes pushing pipe cleaners in and out!
The Monday busy box I’m sharing today is actually a very similar concept, but with craft pom poms instead of pipe cleaners. 
It’s a hit with my daughter. I especially like how small and portable this one is, and have brought it along for blanket time on-the-go. Just a few weeks ago, we were at a dinner meeting and she was able to quietly play with this toy for a long time before moving onto something else! Other kids enjoyed pushing the pom poms in, too, so it’s easy and inexpensive entertainment for little kids (not just toddlers), too!
She walked up to me, hands cupped and eyes bright, “Yes, please!”
“Here ya go,” I said, pouring in a handful of Goldfish.
“Thank you!” she chirped, and scampered off to recess.
The next student approached, hands cupped in a similar fashion. I repeated my action, giving him a dose of orange salty goodness.
“Thank you!” he smiled, as he sauntered off stuffing his mouth full of crackers.
One by one, all the students who wanted crackers at recess approached with the customary outstretched hands, and each one offered up a cheerful “Thank you!” as soon as I poured the crackers in.
It never got old. Day in and day out, I heard these two simple words of appreciation from dozens of children, and it never got old. Polite children are always refreshing. And, I’ve found, they are also more grateful. They exude a more positive attitude, and they grow to be more kind to others. Common courtesy is an essential skill that needs to be taught.
I’m scared to write this post. Because I’m have a terrible feeling that as soon as I hit publish, my daughter will suddenly decide that she hates everything and anything I try to feed her… And that I will be eating my words even as they are flying out to you in cyberspace.
I also don’t want to get into mommy wars here. God knows the last thing I want from this is to get into a debate on which method is right or whose nutrition philosophy is best. I just have a lot of friends getting into the parenting stage and want to share what has worked for us so far. No promises that it will work for you, or even that it will continue to work for us or that our next baby will accept it. Just hoping to provide some practical ideas for new parents out there!
Okay now that I got all my disclaimers out of the way, let’s get to it. This post is about trying to train your child to be a “good eater.” That is, a baby who will accept most of the foods you try to feed her, especially vegetables. This will not only make life much easier for you in the long run, but also probably make for a more healthy/balanced life for your child in the years to come.
First let me be clear: my daughter is not yet two. I hear once they hit two, things can change, big time. But right now, I can tell you this: my daughter is a great eater. I can give her cauliflower, fish, zucchini, asparagus, broccoli, brussel sprouts, celery root or cheese and she will not only eat it, but often will also say, “Mmmm, good!” and nod in approval when she’s especially pleased with it.
Is your 1.5 year old like that, too? Then HOORAY FOR US, right?? I can’t keep track of the number of times random strangers have come up to me and said, “Your daughter is such a good eater!” Sometimes, they also add, “You’re lucky,” as if it’s an inherited trait, or the luck of the draw. Maybe it is. At least part of it probably is. But I was reading a book on how French Kids Eat Everything, and couldn’t help but scoff at the things the author was saying we “Americans” do, and the more I read, the more I debated if she was exaggerating her description of American parenting, or if I was French at heart. Let kids snack anytime they want? Let the baby decide what to eat– and encourage her to play with her food and throw it around? Be a short-order cook and make one meal for the adults, and a separate meal for your picky eater(s) each night? No, thanks.
So in a lip-biting case of I-may-be-eating-my-words someday, I’m going to share some of what we did to try to train our daughter to be a flexible eater.
Whew! Summer is over, and with that comes the end of my summer series on Reading Strategies for Children! Yep, this is the last one in that series. Not gonna lie, I was ready to call it quits multiple times throughout the summer. Not only do these posts force me to dig into my brain and try to sound like I know what I’m talking about… but I also lost a lot of subscribers in the process :(. I guess that’s what happens when you don’t follow the bloggy rules and write about lots of different topics (like education AND parenting AND food AND marriage) rather than focusing on just one topic.
Anyway, thanks for sticking with me, even if you don’t have kids and/or aren’t interested in this series! It means a lot to me that you’re still here and you’re reading :D. This series is the kind of resource I would have loved to share with parents when I was still in the classroom, so at least I can do that now! Please let me know if you’ve found it helpful!
Now, onto the last reading strategy: summarizing and synthesizing!
Reading Strategy: Summarize
This may be the reading strategy that you feel most comfortable with. While you may not have heard about “text-to-text connections” much in your elementary school days, I’m fairly certain all of us are familiar with the idea of summaries from our own schooling. Whether it was reading a book and summarizing it for a book report, or reading summaries at the end of textbook chapters, summaries were and are a basic part of producing and consuming text. However, writing a good summary requires a lot more skill than we might think.
I used to think summaries were simple work… until I started teaching. Students would turn in summaries that were not really summaries at all. Sometimes, the summary felt longer than reading the actual text that they were supposed to summarize! Somewhere in their schooling, students picked up the idea that “the more you write, the better.” So I students would proudly hand in their 1.5 to 2 page “summaries” of a one page story we had just read. It would be filled with detail and sometimes even dialogue- excellent for story-writing, but not for a summary!
Other students would hand in something short that just listed a few random events that took place. It was as if they just pulled out details they remembered and threw them down into print. There was no distinction between key events and minor details– as long as they wrote down something they remembered from the text, they were happy to call it a summary.
Of course, neither of these reflected good thinking skills in terms of summarizing information. Here is one way you can try to help your child grow in the area of summarizing more effectively.
Hey Teachers! Back to school night and parent conferences are coming up, and wouldn’t it be GREAT if you could share some information with parents on how to help their children grow in their reading this year? I mean, if only there were some simple, ready-made resource online that could give parents a good overview of what you’re really doing in your classroom with reading, and offer them detailed and practical tips on how to support that learning at home… that would be just LOVELY. Right???
HERE YOU GOOOO!!
https://cuppacocoa.com/how-to-get-the-most-out-of-reading-time-with-your-child/
I made this for you!!! And I made it for all the parents of growing readers out there, so I really hope it gets some use. Parents, likewise please feel free to share with your classroom teachers. You know, something along the lines of, “I came across this really helpful website and learned about how to help my child develop their reading strategies! I thought other parents might appreciate this resource too, so I wanted to share it with you in case you wanted to pass it along!” :D.
Please feel free to link this on your classroom websites, in newsletters home, or just send ’em over to www.cuppacocoa.com for general awesome reads ;).
Although today’s post focuses on the specific reading strategy of determining importance, regular readers will know I’ve got a whole series going on that shares what the Reader’s Workshop, guided reading, and the reading strategies are all about. Please take a look-see and explore what’s available! Scroll to the bottom for more links.
Reading Strategy: Determine Importance
Onto today’s topic. Determining importance means the reader should be able to filter through text and find the important information to determine key ideas or themes. A lot of times, this is applied to informational text, like a textbook. Readers use all of their reading strategies together to try to figure out what the author is trying to communicate, key in on what they have learned, and hone in on the main points. In stories and other fiction texts, it’s more about figuring out the main points in the story and letting go of mere details. Here’s one way to teach it.
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