The other night, a few of us got together to celebrate A’s birthday. You could tell we were all moms, because as we all gathered at the dessert spot at 9:20pm (after every last child had been put to bed), all we could do was remark at how busy this place was at such an incredibly late hour. I mean 9:20PM. Geez. Party animals.
As we chattered away, someone mentioned that according to my blog, it appears that Ben loves EVVVVVVERYTHING I make. EVERYTHING.
Well of course he does. I’m a perfect wife. Aren’t you?
Yeah, that’s a lie. I mean, I don’t think I would keep many readers if I just kept blogging about all the things I did wrong every day. Maybe that’s fun to read about here and there… but probably not the best long-term strategy. However, in my attempt to share good things with you, I’m afraid I may have given the false impression that everything I do is a win. Hah.
So let’s change it up! Today I thought I’d share some things lately that have been a big fat FAIL.
Like the chicken I cooked in my new Instant Pot. I threw a frozen chicken breast in the Instant Pot and made up my own recipe. Cuz I’m pro like that, right? I made sure I hit the liquid minimum of 1.5 cups, threw in some sauce and seasonings, stirred it up, and put in on for 12 minutes.
Wow. IT WAS SO HORRIBLE. Dry and rubbery and everything bad you could imagine about a piece of meat. TOtally inedible. What an embarrassing fail. The worst part? Elaine was there, and she ate some of it, too. SO EMBARRASSING. SORRY ELAINE. Please come eat at my house again. I will not make up my own food this time.
And then there’s the time I decided we needed some pink play dough. More than the tablespoon or so that came in the Play-doh container. We were out of cream of tartar, so we couldn’t make this excellent recipe. No problem, I thought, that’s what Pinterest is for. So I looked up a few recipes, and was sure I’d hit upon a great way to use up the random bottle of hair conditioner with this soft and fluffy recipe that promised to make my hands soft while I played the part of Perfect Mom. Two ingredients. No problem. I was so confident I even took pictures of it to share with you. Because of course this was going to be great.
Well, maybe I didn’t do it quite right, because mine was not stretchy. Whenever we tried to mold it, it cracked. It was dry and crumbly and even though I added more conditioner, it just didn’t feel like something I wanted in the house. Because messy.
So after a lovely afternoon of mixing and kneading, I stored it away in a ziplock back and put it away. A week later, when I was pretty sure she’d forgotten about it, I buried it deep in the trash, like a sneaky criminal. She is still none the wiser. And I just ordered a big thing of cream of tartar, so we will not run into that predicament again.
When I told Ben what happened, he exclaimed, “THAT’S why the kitchen’s been smelling like that all week!” Yes, conditioner smells good, but it’s not the aroma I’m going for in my kitchen. Fail.
Also, kale fail. The blogger said her kids “happily eat this nutrient-packed veggie side dish without any complaints,” but when I made it, it did not taste delicious. Husband agreed. So did toddler. So did I. Either her kids and I have got really different tastes or I did something wrong. Fail.
But that’s shallow stuff.
I’ve been messing up on some big things, too. Important things.
For example, I’ve been thinking more and more lately about the way I train my toddler. In general, she’s got pretty great behavior, but ultimately that’s useless if she never learns her need for a Savior. Even worse, I worry that her great behavior may be a deterrent from her seeing her need for a Savior. If she thinks she is already good, then what does she need saving from?
This came to light when a loving sister shared this with me as a comment in response to this post:
Love reading your posts, as usual. My son’s school has some parent education classes along the same lines and they have been super helpful! I was just wondering if you would do the same thing with your own child in a Christian home as in the classroom. From an early age, I made an effort not to say things like, “You’re a good boy/girl” to my son or daughter. I think with loving parenting, most of us will have well-behaved children, but I don’t want my children to grow up thinking they are self-sufficient and not in need of a Savior. Therefore, when my child obeys and does something well, I’ll say something like, “I’m so thankful that God helped you to share.” Or if they are exhibiting sinful behavior, I’ll say something like, “Yes, it’s hard to obey because our hearts are not good. We want to do what we want to do and not think of others. Mommy is selfish too and that’s why Jesus had to die for me. We can pray that God changes your heart and gives you the grace to listen next time.” Of course this is what I aim to do, but half the time I’m screaming at them to stop fighting. =(
Word, Shirley, word. Thank you for taking the time to share those thoughts with me, because I needed to read it. It hit home. There used to be a time when I was careful not to tell my daughter that she was a “good girl,” for this very reason. None of us are good. But over time, I got caught up in the day to day and got very tunnel-vision-y on getting her behavior right. It will probably always be a temptation of mine, because it makes our lives so much more pleasant and easy when she’s pleasant and easy.
But in the process, I lost sight of The Important Thing.
The Important Thing is not that I have a well-behaved child. It is not that my child is polite and says please and thank you. It is not that she take care of her little brother, and it is not even that she is thoughtful and considerate of others. It is not that she be smart or hard working or confident. And it is not raising my girl to think that she is inherently good, that she should esteem herself highly, or that her own efforts are good enough.
They are not. At the end of all things, all of those things fall short. And there is only one answer.
(Jesus).
She is not a good girl and neither am I. My son is not a good boy and neither is my husband. We are a family of sinners. We are selfish, jealous, and we fail all the time. Not just over crumbly play dough, either.
It was never a goal of mine to make it sound like everything I do is a success, and the people who know me best know that is definitely not the case. However, I do believe that, by the grace of God, even my failures and mistakes can be redeemed for good.
I’ve talked a lot on my blog about how to shape behavior. You will have successes. You will also have failures. Today, you can learn from one of mine, and that’s focusing too much on the immediate things and forgetting about the important ones.
Good behavior? That’s nice, but ultimately, not that important.
Knowing and loving the Lord? In the end, that’s all that matters.
And as long as we have that, we can’t fail.
14 responses to “My Fails”
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Wow, loved this post!! Thank you for great, inspiring advice.
Thanks, Christi! I am so glad you appreciated it :D.
Some really good advice here. Thank you for reminding me about The Most Important Thing!
Thanks, Tammy! I’m really glad you found it beneficial!