I’m scared to write this post. Because I’m have a terrible feeling that as soon as I hit publish, my daughter will suddenly decide that she hates everything and anything I try to feed her… And that I will be eating my words even as they are flying out to you in cyberspace.
I also don’t want to get into mommy wars here. God knows the last thing I want from this is to get into a debate on which method is right or whose nutrition philosophy is best. I just have a lot of friends getting into the parenting stage and want to share what has worked for us so far. No promises that it will work for you, or even that it will continue to work for us or that our next baby will accept it. Just hoping to provide some practical ideas for new parents out there!
Okay now that I got all my disclaimers out of the way, let’s get to it. This post is about trying to train your child to be a “good eater.” That is, a baby who will accept most of the foods you try to feed her, especially vegetables. This will not only make life much easier for you in the long run, but also probably make for a more healthy/balanced life for your child in the years to come.
First let me be clear: my daughter is not yet two. I hear once they hit two, things can change, big time. But right now, I can tell you this: my daughter is a great eater. I can give her cauliflower, fish, zucchini, asparagus, broccoli, brussel sprouts, celery root or cheese and she will not only eat it, but often will also say, “Mmmm, good!” and nod in approval when she’s especially pleased with it.
Is your 1.5 year old like that, too? Then HOORAY FOR US, right?? I can’t keep track of the number of times random strangers have come up to me and said, “Your daughter is such a good eater!” Sometimes, they also add, “You’re lucky,” as if it’s an inherited trait, or the luck of the draw. Maybe it is. At least part of it probably is. But I was reading a book on how French Kids Eat Everything, and couldn’t help but scoff at the things the author was saying we “Americans” do, and the more I read, the more I debated if she was exaggerating her description of American parenting, or if I was French at heart. Let kids snack anytime they want? Let the baby decide what to eat– and encourage her to play with her food and throw it around? Be a short-order cook and make one meal for the adults, and a separate meal for your picky eater(s) each night? No, thanks.
So in a lip-biting case of I-may-be-eating-my-words someday, I’m going to share some of what we did to try to train our daughter to be a flexible eater. I think it’s a worthwhile endeavor. Not only will it make your child more flexible about where and what to eat, but she will get to enjoy that many more types of food! I mean, even I have my food dislikes. I have an aversion to lamb. But I really wish I didn’t. I envy those who talk about lamb shanks and braised lamb and enjoy a good lamb roast. I really want to love those things, too. Really, really. Unfortunately, I don’t think I came across lamb but a handful of times before I was twenty, and that sealed the deal for me. It just tastes wrong in my mouth. And I wish it didn’t. The world of lamb sounds like a wonderfully tasty one. Same goes for spicy foods. I didn’t grow up with much spice in my life (har har), so my mouth just cannot handle what my friends’ mouths can. However, that is a work in progress. I know that warming up to the heat will open up my world of food, so I keep pushing my limits when I can, and find that I am slowly developing my taste buds to take the spice!
I understand some people have to avoid certain foods. When allergies, religion, health, sensory issues, or other convictions call for limiting a diet, that’s something else. But I’m talking about plain old picky eaters. In the same way I wish I were less picky about lamb and spicy foods, I hope my children will be able to enjoy all sorts of foods as they grow up. Here are some of the ways I’ve already been trying to train my daughter’s palette to achieve that!
How to Train Your Child to Eat (Almost) Anything
1. If she doesn’t like it, she probably hasn’t tried it enough times. I’ve read that kids sometimes need to try something a dozen times before they are okay with it. So when she spat out that zucchini puree the first five times, I kept finding ways to make her try it. See #2 for my main trick. It doesn’t always have to be a huge portion, but a sampling here and there over time will help their taste buds get accustomed to the taste and hopefully lead to the child being okay with it, or even learning to like it!
2. Bargain. I have read that you should never bargain with your children, especially over food. Oh well. This has worked for us. Early on, my daughter had a huge love of cheddar cheese, and an equal dislike for pureed carrots and broccoli. So I used the cheese to bribe her to keep giving the puree a chance. I’d cut a block of cheese up into small, half-centimeter cubes, and then I’d make her the offer: “Have a spoonful of carrots first, and then you can have some cheese.” I wasn’t sure she understood the negotiations happening at eight months, so I would manage to get a spoonful of puree in her mouth, and then shove a piece of cheese in as a chaser so she’d see the sequence of 1) eat this, then 2) you get that. I did it a few times and she caught on pretty quickly! I’ve also tried topping a spoonful of puree with a little piece of cheese, and giving her both at the same time. I’m not saying these are the best things to do, but hey– they have worked for us so far. I haven’t done “cheese-bargaining” for months now, but she’s totally good with her carrots and broccoli and all the other foods I had used cheese to get her to try!
My cousin has a similar-aged baby and said that she did the same thing. Unfortunately, one day her son said, “No.” And refused to bargain. I don’t know what you do in that case, but hey– use it while you can to get your child to work their way up to the magic dozen (see #1). The few times my daughter has shown reluctance to bargaining, I’ve insisted, emphasizing the “FIRST” in “Have a spoonful of carrots FIRST, and then you can have…” and she usually takes that as a cue that she has to try it. I’ve also resorted to using bigger “rewards” (like strawberries) a couple times, but in general when I am consistently firm about it, she’s been pretty compliant. My husband and I communicate a lot and he’s totally on board with our eating strategies, which has been key in maintaining consistency.
Note: I do want to note that a LOT of experts say you shouldn’t offer some foods (especially sweets) as a reward for eating other foods. In the long run, it will teach the child that some foods are less appealing. But guys, they are. I mean broccoli vs. ice cream? NO CONTEST! At least for me. So I’ve decided that my goal isn’t to make my kids like everything equally well, but simply to be okay with eating a wide variety of foods. This way, when they’re responsible for choosing their own foods someday, they’ll have a wide range of acceptable foods–including healthy options– that they’ll consume. Of course they’ll still end up having preferences– who doesn’t? I mean, even when I’m eating dinner that I cooked myself, I’ll reluctantly pile a portion of brussel sprouts onto my plate just to make sure I get my veggies in. I don’t love them, but I don’t mind them, either. I eat them because I know I should, and I want to train my children to be willing to do the same.
3. Teach them to enjoy their food. I picked this one up while observing my friend’s baby, who was a few months ahead of us on the food eating business. I watched her little angel stuff a string of roasted onion into her mouth and then smile with a contented, “MMMMMM!!!” before grabbing another piece.
HOW CUTE!!! I thought. So, to be honest, I originally did it just because I thought it was cute. Also, what cooking mother doesn’t like some positive feedback every once in a while?
But it turns out this little trick would be very helpful in helping my daughter appreciate food more in general. Sometimes, when I give her something new to try, I can see her shifting it around in her mouth, getting a feel for the flavors. I immediately stick some in my mouth and go, “MMMmmmmm!!!” and since she’s into imitating my sounds these days, she’ll smile and do the same thing. I like to think this helps convince her that we both like the food, and it slowly solidifies its place on the good list.
4. Limit the snacks. I’m a snacker myself, and even convinced myself this was a good habit at some point. However, in a classic case of do as I say, not as I do, I had also decided that my kids weren’t going to indulge in this habit when I read an article about it ages ago. The book about French kids
Another reason to limit the snacks is to support the goals of item #1: encouraging your child to try new foods. If your child is pretty hungry by dinner time, chances are they will be more willing to chow down on some roasted cauliflower florets than they would be if they had just filled up on bagel bites an hour before. If their little tummies are already semi-satisfied with a recent snack, it’s easier for them to reject foods that don’t seem obviously tantalizing to them. This means they will be less likely to give the food a chance, and the less they sample the food, the less likely they are to develop a taste for it. Sad downward spiral. On the other hand, if they come to the table with a healthy appetite, they will be more inclined to sample more things, and this will likely help them develop a taste for foods they may not have liked much before. Happy upward spiral!
Conclusion
I’m no expert, but these are four things I’ve tried to stick with ever since my daughter started solids, and she continues to be a pretty well-rounded eater. Of course we have our tougher days when she seems to only want cheerios or bread, but so far, we’ve gotten past all of those. Again, the 2’s are coming, so who knows what’s in store for us then… but at the very least, I can say we enjoyed 1+ year of her being a “good eater.” Try some of these tips and hopefully you can say the same!
8 responses to “How to Raise a “Good Eater””
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My #1 personal rule is – Don’t fight over food.
My child is six, generally a good eater with occasional bouts of eating one food group, and of a good size. So granted, i am lucky, and don’t worry too much.
If he says he’s had enough, fine. Also, I serve healthy food – he chooses what parts he’s eating.
Snacking happens, in a controlled manner (sometimes, can not be helped, especially in the after-school-before-we-get-home-and-make-dinner hour)
When he’s super hungry, it’s the best time to feed the really healthy stuff!
My “tricking” him into eating certain things is often motivated by his “regularity”, i.e. when he’s a bit constipated, I whip up the spinach/oj smoothies ;o)
Thanks for the tips, Jennifer! Always good to hear from someone who has gone before us!
I think you would enjoy “The Man Who Ate Everything” by Jeffrey Steingarten http://www.amazon.com/The-Man-Who-Ate-Everything/dp/0375702024 Our kids are 8, 12, and 13, and teaching them not to be picky eaters is a continual effort.
Ooh, I have heard of that book! Adding it to my reading list now! I feel like I’ve seen this guy on Iron Chef before– same person?
Hehe I know people MY age who are still picky eaters ;).
*Fingers crossed* she stays a good eater for you! 🙂
It’s so interesting how kids grow to like food. Munchkin used to love broccoli, now he refuses to eat it, but carrots, which he used to dislike – are now making an appearance in his lunchbox as carrot sticks and he’s asking for more. It’s hard to say what the change was there – although – I’ll say that we often get him to try things by pointing out the “green healthy” power of zucchini, or the eye-boosting power of beta carotene in carrots, etc. This does seem to help. Munchkin is very into gymnastics, so when we’re able to turn something into “this is good food that builds your muscles,” he’s much more likely to try it!
Hehe I still remember my relatives telling me carrots were good for my eyes, and fish would make me smarter :). Totally worked on me! Good tips, and I will try those more, especially when that kinda thing seems to click more with her. Thanks!
Thanks for sharing your experiences with us!! 🙂
=D