Today, I was randomly thinking about how my dad used to cook dinner for us every night. (Of course, this happened as I was driving to get my free burrito from Chipotle for our lovely family dinner. Hah.). And I thought about how in high school, I used to just watch TV and not even offer to help all those years! I frowned at Younger Me, and thought, Man, if I could have a word with younger JoEllen. I’d have some things to say.
It got me thinking about a number of things I’d want to tell my younger self. So I thought I’d share with you:
If I could go back and tell younger me a thing or two…
About Family
Eighteen years at home is actually not a lot of time. Especially because during the last four, you will spend most of your waking hours out of the house or busy with homework. And then whoosh. You’re never really coming back.
So hang out with your parents more. Go take more walks with Mom, and make Dad take you on a few more dates. Show up to more family events, and stop prioritizing your friends over family so much. Trust me, you’ll have PLENTY of time to hang out with friends after this. But being a daughter living at home? Not so much. Milk it while you can. It’s a luxury.
Hang out with Brother more. You don’t realize this now, but when you’re sixteen, he’s leaving for college and you two are never going to live under the same roof again. You’re going to miss him. A lot. And your relationship will never be quite the same after you get married, so enjoy the special friendship you have with your brother while you two are still uniquely brother and sister growing up together in the same house. Not everyone grows up getting along with their siblings. Your friendship with him is superspecial, and you should appreciate it.
Also, enjoy sleeping in til noon on Saturdays and waking up to food on the table.
Man, I miss that.
On Learning
So I think I’m supposed to go back and tell younger me that I should have studied more and played less.
Yeah, no. It’s cool.
I think you made the most of the time you had and well, Older You has no regrets on that.
Except your class selection in college. Taking random classes for the easy A or to sleep in more is probably not the best way to make the most of your educational opportunities. Also, just FYI, taking four years of German has helped you ZERO in life so far. Every German you’ve come across speaks English way better than you can speak German.
Spanish. Take Spanish. Or French, or ASL. Anything. Else. Better yet, ask your parents to petition for Chinese to be available by the time you get to high school. Now, that would have been really, really useful.
Also, don’t quit all the teams your senior year. That’s just not cool. Did you know that your teams and coaches were banking on you being there as a senior, and that it was very selfish of you to quit? While we’re talking sports: LEARN SOCCER, JOELLEN. And VOLLEYBALL. Did you know that you’ll have to PAY to play someday, and you’ll have to PAY EVEN MORE to have someone teach you? Even then, you’ll only get to practice and play about once a week, whereas playing for the team in high school gets you lots of daily coaching and practice FOR FREE!!! You’ll never get that kind of concentrated coaching, practice, and attention again, and certainly not for free, so MILK IT. PLAY ALL THE SPORTS.
Oh, and pay better attention in U.S. History and government. That stuff is actually interesting now! And Econ. Oh, and Stats. And Physics. And take the AP Music test. And consider voice lessons. You’re going to be in an a capella group in a couple years and then decide you love singing, so get over yourself and your nervousness and sing already.
…Okay, I guess I have some regrets. Just some.
On Food
Remember how you used to get annoyed when Dad was cooking dinner? You’d be watching TV when suddenly he’d go and turn on the range vent. Ugh. Now you had to turn the volume up. Then he’d turn on the sink, and the sink noise would drown out a few words onscreen. How annoying. You turned the volume up more, but then as he started cooking up food in the wok, the loud sizzle would hiss over a word or two and you’d turn up the volume again.
-_-
GIRL. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU. Your DAD went to WORK all day and then he got GROCERIES and came HOME and then washed and cut and marinated them and is now COOKING THEM for YOU TO EAT. While you sit on your bum and WATCH TV. What are you thinking?! That his labor of love is hindering your TELEVISION WATCHING? Get up and go HELP HIM. LEARN A THING OR TWO.
First of all, that’s just a kind thing to do. Secondly, in five years, you are going to be a new bride with ZERO cooking chops. In ten years, you are going to find yourself calling Dad from the grocery store asking which cut of meat to buy to make a beef stir fry. Seriously, JoEllen. In fifteen, you will be studying his every move in the kitchen, peppering him with questions and trying to glean as much knowledge out of him as you can, wishing you paid more attention half a lifetime ago when you had this opportunity every evening.
So instead of sitting there watching TV or waiting for AOL to dial up and get you online, go to the kitchen and learn some knife skills and figure out how to make those potato pancakes already.
SMH.
There’s more.
If I sat and thought about it, I’m sure there’s a lot more I’d tell myself. On love and relationships and learning… but I’m afraid I’ve already given Younger Me an earful, so this is a good stopping place.
It was an interesting thought exercise, though. I’d be interested to hear yours! How about you? What is something you’d want to tell Younger You?
12 responses to “Hey, JoEllen.”
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Love this post. Your parents are so wonderful and your dad’s heart to serve inspires me every time we’re with him. When I was sharing an evening with your family recently, I was thinking how blessed you all are to have your parents so close during the week. It’s definitely what we miss most having moved here.
My dad is very similar, maybe that’s why I like when yours is around so much. We would have regular gatherings at my parents over the past 8 years–usually with about 10 of us, and my dad would also do all the cooking and clean up. I cherish those times with him. ❤️ #daddysgirls
#daddysgirls for sure :). Thanks for sharing!