Today, I was randomly thinking about how my dad used to cook dinner for us every night. (Of course, this happened as I was driving to get my free burrito from Chipotle for our lovely family dinner. Hah.). And I thought about how in high school, I used to just watch TV and not even offer to help all those years! I frowned at Younger Me, and thought, Man, if I could have a word with younger JoEllen. I’d have some things to say.
It got me thinking about a number of things I’d want to tell my younger self. So I thought I’d share with you:
If I could go back and tell younger me a thing or two…
About Family
Eighteen years at home is actually not a lot of time. Especially because during the last four, you will spend most of your waking hours out of the house or busy with homework. And then whoosh. You’re never really coming back.
So hang out with your parents more. Go take more walks with Mom, and make Dad take you on a few more dates. Show up to more family events, and stop prioritizing your friends over family so much. Trust me, you’ll have PLENTY of time to hang out with friends after this. But being a daughter living at home? Not so much. Milk it while you can. It’s a luxury.
Hang out with Brother more. You don’t realize this now, but when you’re sixteen, he’s leaving for college and you two are never going to live under the same roof again. You’re going to miss him. A lot. And your relationship will never be quite the same after you get married, so enjoy the special friendship you have with your brother while you two are still uniquely brother and sister growing up together in the same house. Not everyone grows up getting along with their siblings. Your friendship with him is superspecial, and you should appreciate it.
Also, enjoy sleeping in til noon on Saturdays and waking up to food on the table.
Man, I miss that.
On Learning
So I think I’m supposed to go back and tell younger me that I should have studied more and played less.
Yeah, no. It’s cool.
I think you made the most of the time you had and well, Older You has no regrets on that.
Except your class selection in college. Taking random classes for the easy A or to sleep in more is probably not the best way to make the most of your educational opportunities. Also, just FYI, taking four years of German has helped you ZERO in life so far. Every German you’ve come across speaks English way better than you can speak German.
Spanish. Take Spanish. Or French, or ASL. Anything. Else. Better yet, ask your parents to petition for Chinese to be available by the time you get to high school. Now, that would have been really, really useful.
Also, don’t quit all the teams your senior year. That’s just not cool. Did you know that your teams and coaches were banking on you being there as a senior, and that it was very selfish of you to quit? While we’re talking sports: LEARN SOCCER, JOELLEN. And VOLLEYBALL. Did you know that you’ll have to PAY to play someday, and you’ll have to PAY EVEN MORE to have someone teach you? Even then, you’ll only get to practice and play about once a week, whereas playing for the team in high school gets you lots of daily coaching and practice FOR FREE!!! You’ll never get that kind of concentrated coaching, practice, and attention again, and certainly not for free, so MILK IT. PLAY ALL THE SPORTS.
Oh, and pay better attention in U.S. History and government. That stuff is actually interesting now! And Econ. Oh, and Stats. And Physics. And take the AP Music test. And consider voice lessons. You’re going to be in an a capella group in a couple years and then decide you love singing, so get over yourself and your nervousness and sing already.
…Okay, I guess I have some regrets. Just some.
On Food
Remember how you used to get annoyed when Dad was cooking dinner? You’d be watching TV when suddenly he’d go and turn on the range vent. Ugh. Now you had to turn the volume up. Then he’d turn on the sink, and the sink noise would drown out a few words onscreen. How annoying. You turned the volume up more, but then as he started cooking up food in the wok, the loud sizzle would hiss over a word or two and you’d turn up the volume again.
-_-
GIRL. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU. Your DAD went to WORK all day and then he got GROCERIES and came HOME and then washed and cut and marinated them and is now COOKING THEM for YOU TO EAT. While you sit on your bum and WATCH TV. What are you thinking?! That his labor of love is hindering your TELEVISION WATCHING? Get up and go HELP HIM. LEARN A THING OR TWO.
First of all, that’s just a kind thing to do. Secondly, in five years, you are going to be a new bride with ZERO cooking chops. In ten years, you are going to find yourself calling Dad from the grocery store asking which cut of meat to buy to make a beef stir fry. Seriously, JoEllen. In fifteen, you will be studying his every move in the kitchen, peppering him with questions and trying to glean as much knowledge out of him as you can, wishing you paid more attention half a lifetime ago when you had this opportunity every evening.
So instead of sitting there watching TV or waiting for AOL to dial up and get you online, go to the kitchen and learn some knife skills and figure out how to make those potato pancakes already.
SMH.
There’s more.
If I sat and thought about it, I’m sure there’s a lot more I’d tell myself. On love and relationships and learning… but I’m afraid I’ve already given Younger Me an earful, so this is a good stopping place.
It was an interesting thought exercise, though. I’d be interested to hear yours! How about you? What is something you’d want to tell Younger You?
12 responses to “Hey, JoEllen.”
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Love this post, Jo! It made me think of the letter I wrote to both my parents after my second son, Ben, was born. I wrote them a letter of appreciation, telling them that I finally understood all the sacrifices they had made for us as kids–sleepless nights, tight budgets, schedule planning, and everything inbetween. I thanked them for it all.
Aw Rachel they must have LOVED THAT. (I could use one such a letter right about now ;D). You would do something so sweet and thoughtful :).
I’d tell the younger me (which is really young, because I’m STILL young at 20) that All things really DO work together for good! Don’t stress about it! If the plans you’ve made fall through, you can believe that something even better is coming your way! Especially when it comes to choice of university and to choice of work place. Don’t stress over the choices and plans so much! God’s going to work it all out in the very best way possible!
Word. I find myself repeating that truth all the time… teens, 20’s… 30’s…! Thanks for sharing the wisdom!
Hey JoEllen,
Wonderful post. Personally, I have realized how important family is after I read this awesome blogger’s post. It really put things into perspective for me. Please give it a read! 🙂
http://waitbutwhy.com/2015/12/the-tail-end.html
YES I HAVE TOTALLY READ THIS before and I totally just read it again because I really, really liked it too! I think it deserves some link love on my facebook page :). Thanks for sharing!!
Great post! So neat that you can remember all these things!
Thanks, Daniel! I’m sure you could think up a few gems if you gave it a couple minutes, too! 🙂 I’d love to hear em!
Since I was right there with you in highschool I was seriously laughing and then tearing up and then laughing again. I love your writing style. This hit home so much. Siblings, parental sacrifice all the way. And more humorously totally true about the German… um yeah I’d avoid the French too. I’d stick to the Spanish advice. I’m trying to learn spanish now and oh how i wish I’d learned it earlier! Same for volleyball and woah, wait…what sports did you quit as a senior? I quit cross country and pretty much all sports then too. What did you drop? I didn’t remember that? And btw, I still need to hear you sing! But all being said, I can relate to the regrets, but seriously Jo, even in high school you had quite an amazing perspective and balance in life.
Hahah aw thanks <3. I just reread what I wrote in YOUR eyes, and I can see that :). <3. Those were good times, eh? I remember you love love loveeed your siblings like no other. (I also remember I had artichokes for the first time at your place, and I was like... you PEEL it and then DIP it in... MAYO?!?! What IS this thing, and where has this been all my life??? ;D). Senior year... I quit cross country and basketball =/. Regrets! Then again, I don't regret the activities (like Bible study groups!) that took their place, so... no regrets??? =P Hard to say!