So the test said POSITIVE and you’ve finished that terrible first trimester of “morning” sickness (total misnomer– the nausea can be constant!). Now you are into what most women find to be an enjoyable second trimester, and you’re ready to start getting that nursery ready!
You are not alone. I have a whole lot of friends right around that stage as I type. I literally have TEN close friends who are expecting in 2015– and that’s only getting us up to September! (And those are just the ones who have told me– I know there are more of you out there…!) Well, friends, here are some things you will want to think about before your baby comes. Some are to help you as you prepare the nursery and gear up, while others are just things you’ll probably wish you had thought about before you were constantly sleep-deprived and bleary-minded.
1. Book recommendation: Baby Bargains
This book is a great place to kick off your research, whether you are looking into strollers, cribs, carseats, or bottles. Actually, it’s even a great place to tell you what you need to look into in the first place. I appreciated being able to turn to any chapter, and get an overview of the major features that I should consider, then get reviews on some of the most common brands noting their strengths/weaknesses. Since safety was my #1 concern, I was able to skip past some of the bells and whistles and pare my list down to the ones that worked well and were super safe.
Other highlights:
- It is updated every year, so you can be sure the information is recent and complies with the latest safety regulations.
- Name brand reviews (unsponsored reviews, so they should be unbiased).
- Good, better, and best lists. These are handy so you can splurge on the items that are more important to you, and still get decent ones (for less $) for the ones that aren’t.
Overall, the $8 was well worth the time saved by jump-starting my research and giving me some direction so I could focus any further Internet research. Sometimes, it was the only resource I used to guide me in choosing products. Other times, I would be undecided between two products, and I’d use the book to help me make a final decision. It has definitely been one of the baby-related books I have referenced the most, and I have a whole shelf of them! Tip: Get the paperback version (not Kindle). It’s handy to thumb through and compare items using the physical book, and I imagine it would be annoying to skip around on the Kindle.
2. Sleep training
To sleep train or not? If sleep training, then when to start sleep training? Let your baby cry it out (CIO) or not? Co-sleep or not?
These are all highly debated topics in the parenting world (and pleasepleaseplease let’s not get into it here). I just want to put it here so that expecting parents know that these are decisions they’ll have to make at some point. If you do decide to sleep train, it’s better to do some research before the baby arrives instead of when you are sleep-deprived and groggy-brained and have difficulty making game-time decisions. It also helps to do some research ahead of time so you know what the options and methods are; there are many. One good piece of advice I got (more than once) was this: Whichever method you pick, stick with it. It’s the inconsistency and wavering back and forth that will drive you (and your baby) nuts, so try to stick with a path for a while before switching to a new technique. To make sure you and your partner sleep, buy a new, memory foam mattress. There are many mattress sizes so I’m sure you’ll find the perfect one for you.
3. Off-gas that sparkly new furniture!
One of my co-workers once referred to my husband as “Mr. Safety,” when she heard of how particular he was when it came to keeping our family protected. Her husband was Mr. Healthy, and he was all about having a healthy home. They even built their home from the ground up so he could ensure that everything was up to his standards! She was also one of the first to tell me about the importance of off-gassing (or airing out) your baby furniture, which you can read more about here.
As parents, we work so hard to ensure that our babies are in safe and healthy environments, but oftentimes the nursery is the most hazardous room in the house! Fumes from the new furniture we buy (or the new carpet we install) can leach chemicals into the air we breathe. If you can, purchase furniture made with real wood instead of composite wood (aka particle-board furniture) for major pieces of furniture (or buy vintage or floor-model furniture pieces that have already off-gassed). If you do use composite wood, then follow tips from this site to improve the air quality in that room. I was so glad I found this out before having my newborn, I was starting to look at new wooden sideboards for our living room so that when our little one arrived, we had somewhere to place things like change of clothes, wet wipes, bottles, and a cup of coffee for me if we needed! Luckily it had a couple of months to air out before our little one arrived!
4. Learn more about breastfeeding.
I think most people can agree that breastmilk is optimal for babies, but studies show that while 77% of infants start off breastfeeding, that number is down to 49% by 6 months, and 27% by 12 months. Those stats aren’t terrible, but most doctors recommend breastfeeding up to a year if possible. I’ve heard a lot of mothers tell me they couldn’t breastfeed due to lack of milk production or pain. I totally get the pain thing. Really, I’ve been there. And while there are many mothers or babies who have serious complications that make it virtually impossible for their baby to consume their mother’s milk (I have friends who have endured incredible pain and challenges to try to make it work, but couldn’t), a lot of times it’s simply a matter of information.
This
I had done a lot of research, including watching videos, talking to other moms, scouring the Internet, and had started a few other books… but they were so wordy and repetitive that I couldn’t get through them. There’s a lot of stuff out there and it gets overwhelming, but I found this book to be very practical, well-organized and straightforward.
A little research ahead of time can go a long way in helping you know what to expect, what challenges may arise, and how to deal with them if they come. For example, since I had already learned about mastitis and its symptoms beforehand, I was able to quickly self-diagnose when it happened and called the doctor much sooner than I normally would have. This resulted in a much quicker recovery than I would have had otherwise. Mastitis is no walk in the park, so thank goodness we got past that hurdle quickly.
My friend Dakota shares another great tip:
Lots of moms think they “can’t produce enough milk” if they’re breastfeeding right around that 6 weeks/two month mark. Sadly, this is often during the cluster-feeding phase, too, so new moms seem to think they go hand in hand. They don’t! That 6 week marks is a growth spurt and if you can just nurse through it things will all balance out within a day or two… that is seriously one of the most common topics that comes up in the forum that I’m in.
Some moms appear to have no trouble and jump into the nursing gig like they’ve been doing it their whole lives. Lucky you!! For the rest of us, some research ahead of time might just mean the difference between sticking it through and giving up.
5. Learn how to work your breast pump before you need it.
Learn about sleep-training. Learn about breastfeeding. Learn how to work your breastpump… see a theme here? Yes. Learn as much as you can ahead of time. Seriously. The sleep-deprivation. It’s real. The learning thing goes for your breast pump, too. Don’t wait until the night before you have to go back to work to figure out how to work it. First of all, you’re supposed to sanitize all the parts first… then you need to figure out how to assemble it, and then storing your milk properly is also a thing. Read up. Learn while your brain is still functioning well! (Or at least watch the vids I prepared for you on cleaning/sanitizing parts, assembling the pump, and storing mother’s milk!)
6. Things to do ahead of time:
- Sign up for birth classes: If you wait too long, classes may be filled up until after your due date. That’s not helpful.
- Order a new crib: It can take a long time to ship if it’s not in stock, and may not arrive in time for baby. Plus, you want to give it time to off-gas.
- Ask a friend to set up a meal registry for you. It’s a practical way for friends and family to care for you, and is such a life saver those first few weeks!
- Install your carseat weeks before the baby is due! A worker at Babys-r-us was telling me how frantic fathers would often rush into the store desperately asking for carseat recommendations. They had newborn babies and wives waiting at the hospital for them, but they weren’t allowed to take the baby home until they had a suitable carseat properly installed! Yipes. Don’t be them. Extra points if you swing by the CHP and have them double-check that it’s installed correctly! It’s free, and you can call ahead to make an appointment.
There’s more… always more… so please share in the comments below! I know I’ve got a ton of experienced parents reading along here, so please share your wisdom for my friends and all the other expecting parents below!
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Helpful Resources for New Parents
Meals to Bring New Moms (link this onto your Mealbaby!)
What are the Top Baby Registry Must-Haves?
What Do All Those Baby Acronymns Mean?!?
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On #4, “This was my favorite resource on breastfeeding– simple and informative with helpful illustrations:” you didn’t give the name of any book. And all through #4, I was thinking “I she gonna say the Leche League book??” It was tremendously useful to me — along with my older sister’s experience and helpful tips.
Oh, not sure if it’s related to the La Leche League book, but I think I had an Amazon link there. Having an older sister sounds super useful, too!!
dads: don’t plan anything during your paternity leave except being home and tending to your wife and baby! they will need you the whole time! I foolishly thought I could get music done or get into a jogging routine. all wrong.
Haha yes. Word of the experienced :).
The best advice I got from anyone is do what works for you and don’t let anyone especially the Internet or even your doctor make you feel guilty for your choices because there are always 100 different ways to do whatever it is and 100 different opinions on every topic. Only you know what’s right for you even if all your close friends are doing it another way.
Oh – and an all recycle baby is easier than you may think. Check out baby resale places like kid to kid or just ask your friends on FB. You’ll have way more junk than your baby will ever need inevitably so save the $$ for the college fund!
Power to the mother! =D Thanks for that encouragement. Great tip on the all recycle baby idea!
For sleeping, I’ve used two resources, “Happy Sleep Habits, Happy Child,” by Mark Weissbluth, and The Baby Sleep Site (if you sign up for their free newsletter there’s a lot of information that comes through). The book worked better for my first kid, and the site works better for my second kid…
The one take away from both resources that I found really REALLY valuable is that your baby is often sleepy much sooner than you think! With both of my kids, if I waited until they were “sleepy” before putting them down, it was too late, and I was in for a fight.
Great post!!!
GREAT point. I’ve come across that idea a lot, too… but seriously, that magical window where they’re ready to sleep but not too sleepy… kind of an elusive thing sometimes!!! Takes some serious parenting intuition, which sometimes I feel like I have, and sometimes I definitely do NOT… haha :).
Oh my goodness yes, that’s all of us though. Some things I totally nail. Others? Fuggetaboutit. 😛